I was joking when I said "I love you" to someone no matter who that person is. Face the reality guys, it's is an adult phase where all we cared about is our own self. It's a fact. I didn't really mean it when I said,"I care for you", "I love you", "you made me worried like sick".
When I actually don't give a fuck. Or maybe I worried because I don't like the news of people I knew died or something. Or maybe your safety and existence brings beneficial to my self, and that's why. Maybe.
I had a bestfriend and I don't really know what happen that caused us to separated. Recently we talked again after more than one year of silent trying to fix things. Last two days me and my housemate set a Tahlil occasions and I invited her. As we all sat and ate while talking about random things, suddenly I felt something when she was around and trying to have a conversation with me, trying to talk about past moment, I was hoping that she could just acting cool like nothing happen by not talk to much with me. It is uncomfortable and I felt awkward like we were trying so hard to be friend again while we both knew that won't happen. Even if she felt it positively, I gotta say that I won't because my self have this kind of ego. The ego were I will not being around with people who used to put me on a hard time.
In a process of getting old, our little holly fragile heart had been tortured and that is why we've stop believing in people.
I don't know about you, because I did. I have stop believe in people.
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